The Inner Child's Adolescence

by Don Fenn


Everybody's finally coming to understand the child within us. Which is fairly well represented by how we feel, and what structure our emotional matrix produces.

The "person" is inside of, and smaller than the individual, which is the entire ecosystem we represent.

Others call how they perceive this structure our "personality". But that is simply their view of us. We have our own view.

But what we haven't really begun to fathom is the adult within us. That creature manages experience fearlessly and efficiently. Only he or she is very dominated by the child whom we know and trust much more.

The adult within us we mistrust. Because the adult can over-power the child, and force the child to behave. Which means to subject oneself to the sense of wholeness available to the adult's reasonable perspective, which perceives things holistically not specifically as emotions do. We try and arrange for what our awareness holds as understanding fit for a child. But we need it desperately to fit an adult. We hold understanding within a personal soap opera, whose boundaries are delineated by what we feel, which derives from how we're programmed, which represents a group mentality. When our adult needs very much to be emancipated from this narrow perspective. An adult awareness uses the rational process ruthlessly to find the truth, no matter what all our children (emotions) feel about it. To a child the world is full of "villains". To an adult it is full of hazard. The one is very personal, while the other is very non-personal or functional.

The greatest opportunity lies in the very next smallest step we can take for ourselves. Our emotions will tell us if it makes sense. If it doesn't, we will feel uncomfortable; we need to go back to the drawing board. The rational process is a very ruthless mistress. She cares not what you feel, just what makes sense. And expects you to adapt to this new information, even if that means being uncomfortable for awhile. Human awareness exists permanently in the here and now. It cannot exist anywhere else perceptively and pragmatically. It can remember, which projects it into the past; and it can hypothesize, which projects it into the future. Awareness there lives permanently in an emotional place. It can't ever get out. But we don't have to confine our understanding to what fits in that place. We can also understand ourselves, and reality, in non-personal ways. In fact such non-personal thinking needs to dominate the other more personal, emotional thinking which governs the here and now. Which also means that awareness cannot even exist without getting out of the one-dimensionality of the here and now. Because it means by definition to function in at least two different dimensions or more. Which is what gives awareness its uniquely individualized perception and understanding.

Time is not a part of reality. It's a human measurement. You use it to map your perception of experience. It measures distance of both a physical, an emotional, and a rational kind; it measures difficulty of both a physical, emotional, and rational kind; it measures energy expended and in what realm of feeling; it measures the relative position of various parts of experience to each other; and it measures reliability.

Hazard derives from the experience of living in a reality which contains multiple emotional options, when that creature must live perpetually in only one at any given moment in time. Emotion holds us in a single-option frame of reference. It focuses us very specifically and very precisely at minute detail in our experience which produces great meaning and importance for us personally. That detail-focused attention is what keeps us alive. It represents that aspect of instinct which still exists in our experience, which is intended to manage danger.

On the other hand, reality has gifted us with awareness. Which represents an instrument capable of managing a great diversity of multiple options.

Therefore what we can do with our mind is capable of terrorizing and intimidating our heart. And that's precisely what it has done.


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